Growing Hope & Beans

How Ruthi Connected Her Love of Gardening with Community

By Our Common Ground: Stories Connecting Passion and Purpose.

Can you tell us about how you've been able to connect passion and purpose in your life?

A relatively new passion of mine is gardening. In 2019, I had the chance to work at Roots to Harvest in Thunder Bay, where I learned urban agriculture while working alongside youth who were gaining job skills. I had NEVER really gardened before but I fell in love with (almost) every aspect of it! In 2020, I found myself "stuck" in the pandemic, unable to travel or be as nomadic as usual. I decided that if I was going to be in one place for a while, I might as well be "rooted" ... so I planted a garden.

Honestly, that garden saved my life. I was having such a hard time getting out of bed each day or having any purpose, and if it wasn't for my nephew bugging me to come out and dig, I may never have left my bedroom. I loved witnessing my nieces and nephews' excitement as their beans grew and they ate cucumbers off the vine. Being able to show them where food comes from and have the satisfaction of digging up potatoes was almost as delicious as the veggies themselves.

That summer, I daydreamed about how we could share the garden with others. My sister helps run a parenting and family support program called Sunrise and one of the moms she supports reached out because she wanted a garden but was having back problems. Together with a few others, we were able to till her land and help her and her kids plant a big garden.

After that experience, I had big plans to start a CSA and a community garden with the Sunrise parents. The winter of 2021 was hard though, I found myself depressed and without much energy to dream or plan. I managed to plant seeds and did get a late garden planted. We invited the Sunrise families to come each week to help weed and pick veggies. In the midst of lockdowns and isolation, it was nice to gather outside and share the joy of pulling up carrots and picking fistfuls of beans!

What’s been a favourite memory or moment along the way?

My favourite moments were when the kids would pick veggies and eat them on the spot! One kid ate a whole cucumber in like 3 bites! I loved watching the kids teach each other what they knew about the garden. They were so eager to share and also so tender with the plants.

Can you share some moments of difficulty related to this? (Doubts, Mistakes, Hardships, etc)

I found it really hard to take the ‘big idea’ and make it actually happen. Depression and inertia can take hold in late winter and this past year was no exception. We were also in lockdown most of the winter, so the plans to have a collaborative garden team and do all the work together got lost because we couldn’t meet together.

Really though, it was my own lack of energy and motivation that kept us from having a more engaged program. There were times I wanted to just give up on the idea and barely even wanted to plant a personal garden. I missed all the “usual” planting deadlines and was feeling pretty discouraged about the whole idea. But a tiny miracle happened (which was devastating to many farmers), in that we got a late frost. If I HAD planted the garden, it all would have been destroyed. By stalling, I missed the ‘killer frost.’

So, in the end, we did do a ‘community garden’ program but it was half-assed compared to what I’d envisioned… it wasn’t really collaborative and felt a bit anti-climactic. BUT…. people came and hung out with one another outside…. people got FRESH FREE LOCAL food (one mom was super excited about the jalapenos, another took tons of beans, another filled bags and bags full of fresh veggies).... it wasn’t what I’d dreamed… but, it was something.

What would you tell readers who are struggling to discover what they are passionate about?

We all have so many reasons NOT to be passionate. For me, depression (even in its mild wave) steals a lot of my energy. The pandemic hasn’t made it easy for any of us to get out and do things or find ways to connect meaningfully. I wouldn’t necessarily say that gardening was/is my passion - but it gave me purpose in a foggy time… it gave me something to focus my attention and care on that I could see tangibly grow.

I am passionate about: a good cup of coffee, delicious things, loving my nieces and nephews….

I guess it is also a question of how you define passion. I see people who are bubbling with energy, enthusiasm, excitement… people who do ALL the things or people who do ONE thing with so much focus and commitment. That’s not really my personality…. I do a lot of little things kind of half-assed and find most of my energy THROUGH the energy of other people. For sure there are things that fire me up - I get really excited about creativity and creative expression. But often… my passion is more quiet…. it is the things I come back to… the things that I could spend hours doing… but those things shift with the seasons and with the days. I go through a phase where ALL I want to do is write… or paint intuitive pictures…. and then I won’t touch it for months and all I want to do is curl up and read.

Even as I've been thinking about this question... new thoughts have emerged... Instead of passion, I think about what I love: speaking spanish… pretty textiles… doing winter fun things outside… hiking in nature… rock climbing… writing poems… sunrises…. having new experiences… solo road trips… sleeping in the backcountry… doing weird challenges…. eating good croissants. Through it all…. I am passionate about loving each person I encounter in a way that they can receive love.

I guess that is the thread. But even that has changed so much over the years. I tried for a long time to love in extroverted ways…. now, my love is much more introverted… it is more often a text or a poem sent through email than a coffee date or a gathering. And maybe that is why the garden was tricky, because, I liked the solo parts of doing it but I didn’t have the energy to muster committee planning meetings or lead group activities. I just wanted to putter alone and do porch drop offs of fresh veggies.

So…. maybe… one thing I would say is…. get really honest and familiar with your limitations…. and then find what brings you joy within those boundaries AND then look at what things you love that push you past those boundaries.

...and do you have anything to share with those who are struggling to find purpose in life?

Start small. Maybe dream big, but start small.

I used to think my purpose needed to be: “save the world” (in some vague missionary turned social worker kind of a way).... now my purpose is much more: Live well in each interaction. And “live well” also shifts with my seasons. Sometimes all I have energy for is getting through the day. Other days I feel inspired to create. Other days, I can make food to drop off to friends. But, I can ALWAYS be kind - to the person beside me at the gas station, to the person working at the grocery store, to the kids in my care.

I wish i had the passion to tackle “big issues”... there is SO MUCH in our world that needs to change… so much injustice…. climate collapse…. all the “isms” …. and maybe it is a cop out…. like maybe I’m playing “small” or excusing myself from responsibility. But, it is all I can do. If I make every person I interact with somehow feel like they were seen and appreciated and accepted, well then… I think it is something. But so often that doesn’t feel like something. There’s so much pressure for “big results” ….. for tangible big actions…

I guess that is why I love OCG…. because, it just lets people connect with other people in real life… You don’t have to start an organization or volunteer every Friday or attend every rally (although those things are all amazing!).... you don’t have to cross an ocean or even force yourself to do something you hate. All you have to do is take what you love and do it with and for others…

And, with everything, what you receive is always more than what is given. And that is always true, but doesn’t always FEEL true. But when you’re sharing what you love… it feels easy… like breathing… like…. when you say “oh, it was nothing”.... because it really was nothing! But to someone else, it might be everything.

How can we be part of your life?

Hmmm… I wish I had more ways to camp…. like, I love doing backcountry hikes but wish I had a buddy… same with outdoor rock climbing… I guess an outdoor adventure buddy would be amazing… someone to push me to do things outside… Haha, maybe I just need a husky?!

OCG Dream Question: You wake up tomorrow and you can combine any of your passions with any opportunity to make a difference... What would you love to do and why?

I would make a ‘creative space’ for youth on the fringes to express themselves. I would have a retreat space for people to come and be alone/together…. to be outside adventuring or cozy inside writing….. especially to offer “grief retreats” …. I would also love to work in Indigenous communities in a sustainable way with youth - to help celebrate their unique gifts…

I would do a lot of camping or adventuring… there would be a beautiful space to write and do creative things… a space that felt inspiring…. and it would include folks who don’t often get to do those things… and we’d grow our own food…. and it would be very introverted… but connected.

Where Can we connect with you or others you find inspiring?

My website is www.foresthearth.com – that's where my writing and retreat work is…

Roots to Harvest does incredible things and are an inspiration to me, always… http://www.rootstoharvest.org/

Sunrise is also a small organization who builds relationships and supports families.. I love the grassroots ways of connecting and letting one another’s gifts shine. https://www.sunriseuxbridge.com/

OCG Mosaic Photos: What Makes You Come Alive?

Do What You Love. Make A Difference.

Changing the World Shouldn't Be So Hard. Or Boring.